While uncovering the shocking reveal that Zack Snyder’s Justice League: The Snyder Cut would feature pornographic material, Ace YDRC reporter Kent Shakespeare was able to land a brief interview with directorial god Zack Snyder and asked him a few questions about his vision for the project.

YDRC’s Kent Shakespeare: Mr. Snyder, your leaked trailer has been accused of mostly using previously-filmed content instead of new content filmed just for the cut. Do you feel this is a good way to hype up your new work?

Zack Snyder: You don’t understand, Kent. This is a work of art, but I can only work with the tools given to me. It’s not my fault that I’m stuck working with the footage I had filmed and approved before deciding this was a horrible project and needed to re-work it.

YDRC: Does this mean you plan to edit around the existing footage, like some kind of fan-edit? What about the new footage promised?

ZS: I can see you still don’t get it. This movie is my magnum opus, and only Zack Snyder’s filmed footage can be part of the Snyder cut. I’ll also be using alternate takes and some footage we made for Batman v Superman and Man of Steel to make the movie complete. Also, the costumes are still locked in storage. I’m working on that.

YDRC: But won’t that cause issues of poor continuity and issues where an actor has visibly aged?

ZS: My work is for grown-ups, who can understand when actors look markedly different. They embraced digital-Leia, they can certainly accept Ben Affleck wearing sweats and jogging in place and tossing cardboard bat boomerangs in his living room.

YDRC: Batarangs.

ZS: They’re bat boomerangs in my universe, the fans won’t know the difference. Besides, even though someone leaked my trailer to the masses before I could air it on Fandome, people love it!

YDRC: About that. I have two questions about the vision you presented. Was it necessary for Darkseid, a rather iconic Jack Kirby design, to become an incredibly generic monster with a spear?

ZS: That’s the genius. Darkseid was actually Longinus, the man who stabbed Christ in the side when he was making sure Jesus died on the cross. The evil that Christ had sacrificed to forgive flowed into him, making him the Dark Side of humanity.

YDRC: That… is an interesting take on the origin. And it does go some way to explain the use of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. Is that the reason why, or were you baiting the fanboys by pretending this was the movie they were waiting for?

ZS: Look, only real adults can understand my vision. It’s obvious you don’t, you child. The use of Hallelujah was intended to signal the grand return of-

At this point, the interview ended abruptly. Zack Snyder’s very head was devoured in a surprise attack by his very rectum, swallowing the man up his own ass. Kent Shakespeare was able to escape unharmed, and owes us $50 from the bet that the Snyder Cut would be a shallow cash-in.